Feeling Your Feelings

I spent last weekend at a Uniteen (ages 11-13) Rally in Wisconsin. We have a staff member from the region who oversees the development of the rally but a majority of the weekend is developed and staffed by our YOU (Youth of Unity ages 14-18). The theme they developed this rally was finding your voice. There were playshops (we call workshops), Spirit groups lead by the teens with adult supervision, and free time. There was prayer, music, joy songs, and a great time for fellowship.

       One of of the play shops had the adults and youth playing board games like Shoots and Ladders and Candyland with a twist. In Candyland when you landed on a space you had to answer a question about feeling. For example, blue was sadness, red was anger, and yellow was joy. The games intent was to help the youth find there voice and be able to express their feeling authentically.

        One of the youth at a certain point said I don't want to talk about my feelings. How instructive and enlightening is that. Of course he had the right to pass and there was no forcing and as the game progressed he started to share his/her feelings. He had to be given the space to feel comfortable and not force the sharing. That was instructive in itself. How often in relationships do we try to force, we call it encourage, others to share rather then simply listen and allow.

       One another level the game was instructive for me. Go figure the game brought my own issues I needed to reflect upon. I thought I have feelings and I just don't want to talk about them. Kind of the go to for a guy my age. It is what we learned. But, I reflected, not sharing or at least acknowledging my feeling keep me stuck. It keeps me stuck in a story that does not serve me. Remember I teach every moment is a moment of possible transformation when we are awake and allow it.

       During the closing ceremonies the youth were acknowledging all those who had been in service. I had taken on the role of Chaplain for the retreat and they had me stand and gave me a Unity blessing. When the youth turned toward me and I saw the appreciation and love in their eyes I was overwhelmed. I had to shut my eyes and a part of me, my ego, wanted to yell I don't want to have these feelings. Feelings of appreciation and worthiness that bump against my ongoing struggle of self worth.

       Learning from the earlier youth I took a breath and simply allowed the blessing and the feelings gently telling my ego to be still. I allowed the feeling and by allowing I moved, I could actually feel the movement, to a new place in consciousness. When we, when I allow my feelings to simply be and not resist the feelings can and do point me to the shifts I still am in the process of making. The journey continues.